In today’s world, loss can come in many forms – here are some:
- Sudden loss of job/income
- Loss of political certainty (regardless of your party affiliation)
- Loss of predictability
- Increase in health concerns
- Decrease in civility
- Increase in fear and feelings of uncertainty
Examples of significant loss experiences for children
- Moving to a new home
- Loss of a sense of safety
- Loss of structure
- Moving to a new school
- Sudden change in family financial status
- Death
- Loss of a pet
- Sudden health changes for self/family/friends
- Divorce
It is not helpful to…
- Assume what one is feeling is not what one is feeling (“I shouldn’t feel this way”, “I can’t feel this way.”)
- Try to “fix” the feelings
- Shame/guilt/blame yourself because of the feelings you have.
- Tell the child not to “feel bad.”
It is helpful to …
- Talk about your feelings
- Acknowledge that you are human
- Acknowledge what may feel like conflicting feelings/thoughts
It is normal to…
- Feel confused
- Feel anxious
- Feel stuck
What to do
- Remember you are human
- Allow yourself the grace you allow others…
- Talk about the feelings
- Build in “stress breaks.” First 5 – then 7 – then 9 minutes daily doing something calming.
- Initiate conversations with those who are part of your emotional safety support team.