If there is drama afoot – these two are in the midst.

Fighting, yelling, screaming, temper tantrums – in short – pain.  The cycle can be draining.

This couple is hard to watch.  This marriage is hard to live.

If this is your life – it is so much less than you deserve.  It is  time to focus your curiosity on this relationship. You know how to be curious.  Human beings are a curious lot.  Use your curiosity skills to look at (not what’s wrong with “him” or “her”) when things changed. Was it “always” this way?  What were the things that were brought to the relationship table that contributed to the current imbalance? Each of you should focus on your own actions – not the other’s

Those who care about either one of you are concerned about your unhappiness. Your “everything is fine” mantra is likely not covering up much . Unless you are a really good actor, people who care about you, people who pay attention will notice. More importantly, most importantly do not tell yourself all is well if it is not. There are many reasons why couples, either individually or collectively choose to keep relationship challenges a secret – even to themselves. The reasons can range from a family belief system – to the demands of an abusive mate. Does not matter. You do not deserve to be in pain. Help is available. You have a right to access help.

Whether you choose to talk with a professional or not is certainly your choice but carrying your sadness alone is not healthy for you. Friends can often be a support and while that is helpful it is not the only kind of help that you deserve.

Speaking of help many people assume that going to a therapist means you’re going to go to someone who will tell you who’s right and who’s wrong. That is incorrect. Going to a clinical professional whether an individual or group should be with the intent to change the quality of your self care your relationship care.

These days, perhaps even more so than in the past, we know that life is unpredictable. Do what you can to improve your life circumstance. You owe it to yourself.